"We were born fully equipped to break free of past confining conditions that no longer serve us. And it is our destiny to do so. That inner impulse, that yearning to explore beyond the boundaries of our daily life permeates every living thing, and its voice perpetually whispers in our inner ear, 'Grow, grow, grow...' But, there is another voice that often speaks much louder, the voice of fear. It shouts, 'No, no, no... Stay right where you are. While you may not like it, you risk nothing by staying put.' But, unfortunately, that is the big lie. There is a great risk in resisting the divine urge to grow." Dennis Merritt Jones, The Art of Uncertainty
On our recent sisters retreat to Oahu, we were to bring treats for each other. I brought black and white bars, really delicious on the main land, but not so much on the island. Sugar just can't compete with mangoes and fresh pineapple. One of my sisters brought magazines for her treat. I chose whole living: body+soul in balance magazine, and found this quote on page 126, in case you're interested.
Stasis has been a huge problem for me for about four years now, as in I am in a mire and cannot get out, mainly because of fear of the unknown, so when I read this quote, it shouted, listen up, Danna! I'm talking to you!
I've been in the deep rut of the devil you know is way better than the devil you don't variety. Those of you who are the other side of making a major life decision, are probably rolling your eyes. Believe me, I'm rolling my eyes at myself.
When I was a kid, I was fearless, mainly because I believed I was bulletproof, but also because I wanted to be the leader, the one who made up the script and assigned roles. I always wanted to be the brave one, the risk taker, the not-a-coward. I'm still a risk taker in many areas, but in this one area, not so much, actually, not at all. Four years is a very long time to know something and keep hedging because it may, well, it will tip the ship and sink it.
I'm a good swimmer.
The voice that once whispered is now screaming, (yes, Oprah's words). I believe doing nothing is a risk, especially when you know, you know, you really know, what it is you should risk in order to grow. It's a given that a fish in a small tank will not grow to full potential, a plant in too small a pot will wind its roots in the confines for only so long before it withers.
My mother has a stepping stone in the flower bed outside her front entry that states, "Grow Dammit!" Yes, grow dammit, indeed.
I went to the ocean every morning last week and asked for the strength to risk. At the Valley of the Monuments, I struck a giant bell outside the temple that housed Amida, a giant gold Buddha,three times, asking the same request. All this week that I've been back in the desert I've reminded myself that what was so clear in tropical air is just as vivid in the desert.
I've come up with a game plan:
1. From reading The Book of Salt, I read that Gertrude Stein wrote for fifteen minutes each day. When I was first writing, I'd write for roughly fifteen to thirty minutes, but then I read about other writers discipline of writing for hours, talked to my writer friends about their intense work ethic, and tried to be a real writer by sitting at the computer for as long as I could take it. The reality is, I can only be their writer I am. That said, I will go back to my original writing discipline of writing in short burst, thanks to Gertrude. Like Gertrude Stein, I will write intensely, every day, every single day, for a quarter of an hour.
2. The moment of truth is here, so, I willbe like Nike and just do it, say it, blurt it.
3. Grow, dammit!
I haven't read this book, but found this:Summary: The Art of Uncertainty
What if we could learn to accept I don't know and embrace the possibility that the future is full of mystery, excitement, and unlimited opportunity?
The Art of Uncertainty is an invitation to the reader to consider its essential message: learning to love the unknown by staying present in the moment. If the difficulties of recent years have taught us anything-particularly those who "did everything right" and still saw it all fall apart-it's that none of us has as much control over our lives as we believe. The only thing we can control is our next thought.
What if we could learn how to be at peace with uncertainty and embrace the possibility that the future is full of mystery, excitement, and unlimited opportunity? What if we discovered that a new paradigm can be more fulfilling, more rewarding, and more peaceful than what we have known? Living in the I don't know and loving it is an art form we can all master, and The Art of Uncertainty is the perfect guidebook.
from us.penquingroup.com
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